This is legitimately how it is for most dudes in Mormondumb. Count yourself lucky that your boyfriend is able to even consider going to parties with you even if you don't ultimately make it to them. I'd at least insist that at 12 the kids can choose to disaffiliate.
If not, it's better to find out now than to continue with something that isn't satisfying you. These girls are nervous around non-Mormons. I did in college, and knew I would play 2nd fiddle to the lifelong dream. I was definitely taking the "Tough love" approach because I've read countless times on this and other boards, how Mormons claimed that they were cool with their SO not being Mormon, and that they weren't, themselves, orthodox. She will probably feel persecuted and attacked if you try. No walking your daughter down the aisle, no giving your daughter away at the alter, nothing but you standing outside the temple waiting till it's over.
She was so sad over what she sacrificed it just haunted everyone on Reddit. That is the shit storm on the road ahead of you. I'm married an interventional cardiologist; and I wish I only knew 5 years ago before she started her fellowship what the heck I was signing up for. I'll keep digging through it, but there's a lot there and I'd like some suggestions to narrow my search. For instance, I am okay with the us not seeing each other very often part. Does He Like Me - Signs.
The brethren have taught that there is an ideal pattern for marriage. Personally I have a rule that I will not enter a relationship with a believing Mormon. I bring him food I make sure he's happy. If she can't put you before her religion then you need to walk away.